Saturday, January 9, 2010

NewsFlash: Vancouver City Cleans Streets!














Cityworks street-cleaning signs inexplicably appeared overnight north and west of Marpole's working-class apartments district, renewing residents' fears for their cherished wetlands.


Described as 'historic and overlooked' in the Every Commuter's Guide to Shortcuts, the district's tree-lined streets every Fall become picturesque leaf-clogged streets, as Vancouver City chooses to allow Nature her annual winter reclaiming of the district's gutters, storm sewers, and street corners for wetland habitat.

Winnie Church-Hill, spokeswoman for the Marpole Wetlands Protection Society, returning from a recon north and west, and plainly agitated, reported, "They blocked my GPS, I'm sure of it. Security drill, probably. In advance of their Post-2009-Winter-HooHah-We'll-Pay-'n-Pay-For. But it was north and west. All of it done. Just like that."

Calming some after a cup of tea, Ms. Church-Hill added, "The City ignores Marpole every winter. Residents have come to expect that, and enjoy the solitude. Call it an Understanding. It was looking like the City's Post-2009-Winter-HooHah-We'll-Pay-'n-Pay-For would just pass us by. Spring would arrive, the overwintering ducks and geese go, and it would all be over. Now where are the ducks going to go, I ask you?"

Every Commuter's Guide to Shortcuts describes the tree-lined, and cleaned, shortcuts north and west as 'famous in cinema and teevee for its mansions and pricey hovels'.

No comments: